In each story we have a functional couple pondering the status of a relationship. The couples are all in some form of a committed relationship but are mired in the status quo and seeking change. Relationship Coaching could be the answer to help them define the obstacles in their relationship and coming up with a plan for moving forward.

MARIE AND ANTHONY

Marie is 33 years old and has been teaching at the same middle school for the last 10 years. She just completed her Master’s degree and is thinking about continuing her education to become a principal. She lives, with her cat, in a comfortable 1-bedroom condo. She has dated quite a bit over the years and had one long- term relationship after college that lasted for almost 4 years. Two years ago she met Anthony at a neighbor’s party and they started dating. Anthony is a divorced 36-year-old computer programmer with a three-year-old son. The relationship has become serious and the topic of living together or getting married has been broached. Marie feels certain that she loves Anthony and feels that he loves her. Yet there are doubts. Her career plans, being a stepmother to a three-year-old, Anthony’s financial situation – the divorce hit him hard.

Anthony cares deeply for Marie and wants to be with her. He is concerned about his son and the joint custody arrangement with his ex-wife. The scars from the divorce remain and he wonders if any relationship can really last.

LARRY AND SANDRA

Larry and Sandra have been married for 12 years. Larry is 43 and Sandra is 36. Josh is their nine-year-old son and Jennifer their six-year-old daughter. They both work and own their own home. Larry is in sales and Sandra is a part time para-legal in a local law firm. Josh has been diagnosed with ADHD and is a handful at home and in school. Their pediatrician has recommended a trial of Ritalin but Larry and Sandra remain reluctant to put their child on drugs. Both Larry and Sandra sense that something is missing in their relationship. Making love has become less frequent and mechanical and they are bickering far more than they used to. Finances are always an issue and it would be helpful for Sandra to work full time now that Jennifer is in first grade. However, Josh’s needs are just too draining and Sandra is torn between her desire to be a stay at home mom and the need to earn more to preserve the lifestyle of the family. Larry is under constant pressure at work to meet his sale’s quota and feels that he just cannot connect with his son. The last straw was Josh’s baseball coach asking Larry to take his son off the team because of Josh’s inability to get along with his teammates. Larry had been an assistant coach and he really enjoyed going to games and practices with his son.

RON AND GAIL

Ron is 52-year-old personnel manager at a medium sized company. He has been divorced for seven years and has two children who are on their own and doing well. His job is secure and his finances are basically sound now that college tuition and child support are behind him. Ron has been in several relationships since the divorce but none that really “shook his world” until recently. Eight months ago he met Gail at a singles dance. There was an immediate mutual attraction and they began dating. Ron and Gail see each other every weekend and have taken a couple of weekend mini-vacations together. Ron feels the relationship is growing more serious and he is playing out the possibility of marriage in his mind. Gail is 49, four years post divorce, and the mother of three children. Her eldest son is on his own, her middle son is a junior in college and her 16-year-old daughter lives with her. Gail works full time as a county civil servant and owns her home. Her ex-husband is rarely involved with the children and contributes only modest child support. Ron is the first man she has dated since her divorce. She feels that she is falling in love with him and is wondering what the future might bring. Recently, Ron confided to his oldest friend his concerns about getting married to Gail – religious differences, her daughter living at home, his issues about intimacy that contributed to his divorce. Gail in a conversation with her sister discussed her ambivalence about a future with Ron – religious differences, her lack of dating experience, the impact on her daughter if she and Ron get together.

SUSAN AND JACK

Susan and Jack have been married for 29 years. Debbie, their 27-year-old daughter lives in California and has just announced that she is pregnant. Mark, their son is in his third year of law school and will be graduating in a few months. Mark has been living with them on most weekends while attending school and has an excellent job waiting for him after graduation. Susan is a high school English teacher who is eligible for retirement but uncertain about what she wants to do. Jack is a CPA who along with his partner owns a small but successful accounting practice. Susan and Jack are financially stable and in relatively good health. However, they feel that they have been gradually growing apart. With Debbie in California and Mark almost out of school and the house, Susan and Jack find that other than the children they have less and less in common. They are basically comfortable with each other but not really intimate. Susan has been spending more and more time socializing with friends while Jack appears to be unenthusiastic and slipping into depression. Susan has even discussed, with some of her closest friends, the possibility of separation from Jack.